Bringing humans back to life - Removing the Vitriol
I would like to start by thanking Deeksha for inspiration and for clearing my head out.
This post is aimed at explaining one of my recent realisations based on techniques I've practiced involuntarily over the years.
A few things before I start :
A. I love Fight Club.
B. I believe in the fact that everyone in this world, no matter who they are, what they do and how they exist, suffer through the same amount of shit.
C. Vitriol actually means bitterness but here I'm referencing this to a book I read a month back - 'Veronika Decides to Die' (thanks Zumur). Vitriol in that book refers to the bitterness which develops inside you over time, killing your willingness to live and driving away all the happiness from your life. It is that mundane routine which causes it, it is your diligent and loving husband, it is the career you've always wanted. Basically, something which makes you bitter enough to stop feeling everything good and rob you off your willingness to live.
This is how I've tried to pull people out of their bad times. There can be many other ways but then these are the ones I use and they've nearly always worked.
Catch them off guard:
Generally calling up people randomly is the first step where you catch the person off guard. If they like talking to you, they will already be sounding better than they did like 2 seconds ago.
Create a distraction:
Start talking about the shit you're going through. Yes, that's what you should do. Please don't be mopey but try making fun of how your situation is and how fucked you are.
I'm generally always screwed up somewhere or the other, hence I don't ever have to lie. The thing with lying is that you can only lie so much. There's always an upper limit. Real life experiences can be blown up out of proportion at times because well, all of it is based on some percentage of truth at least ( truth>=5%).
Never ask for a solution:
Don't ask for help, just keep joking around until the person reacts. The human brain always tries to solve problems. It doesn't care who's problem it is, it just needs to solve EVERYTHING. Somehow or the other.
So, slowly they'll come up with different solutions to your problem. You can accept the default ones( these are the ideal ones which are pretty useless at times) or make them churn their brains for more.
Use your vulnerability:
Now that you've told them how fucked up you are they will tend to draw either direct or metaphorical parallels. This can help you stir the conversation to the shit which they're going through, if it works out then just go on and keep going on will you're the one helping the person with their problems( you don't have to give in shitty ideas (CYCLE REVERSAL, SEE!)
They tend to tell you more because you started by opening up, they feel secured because you're also vulnerable as you told them something important. (This is all internal psychology not conscious)
Appeal to the Superhero emotion:
Now, please understand everyone wants to be a hero* and to be the hero, they need to save someone. But their needs to be someone to save (hint: you)
They will do anything to save you and put you in a better place because hey, humans don't want to be mere humans, they all want to be something else.
Using all of these is mostly going to get anyone out of their shit, including you because you might just actually learn a lot in the process. This generally helps you as well to ease off the shit on your head and helps you sleep better.
If nothing works : GET THEM ICE CREAM. TONNES OF IT.
^ always works.
*read quote in the image to understand what all we want to be.