Showing posts from August, 2015


I was just travelling back in my Uber and this thought crossed my mind again. Just how it has so many other times, it came back and hit me like a rock in my gut and I sunk into my seat, yet again. A thought about how we love and how we manipulate ourselves to love.I've always had this idea in my head, but when I saw Inception, I could find words to describe it. "Cobb: I can't stay with her anymore because she doesn't exist.Mal: I'm the only thing you do believe in anymore.Cobb: I wish. I wish more than anything. But I can't imagine you with all your complexity, all you perfection, all your imperfection. Look at you. You are just a shade of my real wife. You're the best I can do; but I'm sorry, you are just not good enough"This is what hits you. You, all your life keep expecting things. Out of people, out of your work, out of yourself, out of everything! Because you have an idea about the thing, the person, the occasion. You keep expecting and subc…

Time (Waqt)

I went through some poetry and watched a few movies and all of these things indicated towards the fact that there is no other benchmark to measure anything, except time. Time is the only constant which defines our past, present and the future.

My greatest inspiration and most deep rooted understanding came from the following lines, from Javed Akhtar's poem:
"Kabhi kabhi main ye sochta hoon,  Ki chalti gaadi se ped dekho,
Toh aisa lagta hai,
Doosri samt ja rahe hain,
Magar haqikat mein,
Ped apni jagah khade hain.
Toh kya yeh mumkin hai?
Saari sadiya,
Katar andar katar,
Apni jagah khadi ho,
Yeh waqt sakit ho,
Aur hum hi gujar rahe ho?
Is ek lamhe main saare lamhe,
tamam sadiya chhupi hui ho?"
How we feel that we're a part of this race, which we infamously call the race against time. What if this isn't the race? How can you race against something which is standing still and you're the one moving? You can't race against the roads you travel on, can you? 
With this the who…

Hologram Monogram Kinda Life.

Times when you search for validation and proof of authenticity from some twisted set of letters, inscribed in some cryptic manner to mean something. This is you, trying to make sense of things which don't make sense. Point:
Don't make sense, rejoice what is beautiful. Let is absorb you, get absorbed into it. Let it mean something entirely different to you. Be free. Fly. Go away. Dream. Live.

Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Gmail/WhatsApp & Fight Club

This was maybe the first weekend where I barely used my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp or even Gmail and I feel that this was the most productive weekend I've had in ages!I was free from all the issues of the world, I could introspect and learn what I wanted to. I spent a lot of time learning and completed one third of a course I took up, within the two days.
This is maybe the kind of freedom a weekend deserves and why it is directly proportional to your weekly performance. For two days I did some completely new things. I listened to poetry, I wrote a bit, I chose a name for my future pet plant(seriously), I pursued a course I wanted to, I spend some good time with my family, completed my brother's homework, visited relatives and worked on a few other personal projects. And doing all of this was possible only because I was away from all of these social media/news sources. I'm not saying it is bad to be updated, but our need for information is expanding so fast tha…


Freedom is a concept that does not fit to a human setting. We are born with shackles and all our lives, struggle to get into even tighter ones. You think stardom is freedom? wrong answer. The more you yearn for it, the more it goes away from you. To be truly free, you need to let go and maybe that's what I'm trying to do but I am never going to be truly free. You see, I am ambitious and want to do well with whatever I have gained, over time. Need to do well,  that's my shackle and I've embraced it.

I've always dreamt of having a stable life but stability is far off the charts right now. Currently, survival is the primal need and you can't keep giving in your time to something you feel might give returns in the future. That's why business is simpler, ideas can work out. People are unpredictable, they change and that's when you lose out on your stability because some cog in your giant wheel called life, took off.

Today, I decide to free myself.

Closing time

I'm stealing this title from an amazing play one of my juniors wrote. If you ever get to read this blog, you know that I liked all your work.
The great thing about living is, having a choice. I personally believe that it is you and only you who is responsible for what is happening in your life, but somewhere I know myself that it isn't true. It is like a car, you might not be able to afford a new one in your current state, but you can make the best of what you have right now.
Today I'm talking about the whole idea of opening up or not opening up. Each one of us might feel differently about this, but this is how I feel. There can be many states in which a person can be in this case. This isn't black and white as states I mentioned in one of my previous pieces, regarding heightened emotions. For now, to talk about this, I will use two states only, but there is definitely a gradient between these two.
I've seen mainly two kinds of people, one who open up to anyone. A…

Anxiety - How your everyday office goer is actually a soldier fighting his wars.

I don't know if it has always been there or not but right now it is kind of getting hard to deal with. I don't know how severe this gets but right now, I am feeling it and it doesn't feel good. It just makes you feel so vulnerable, your body temperature starts rising and you start sweating in an air conditioned room. You feel that going out will be the solution but maybe it isn't, you don't even know if you can walk till there or not, all you know is that this isn't right.
I use writing as a source of peace, it helps me let out whatever I have inside my system. Good, bad & ugly, all out right in front of me as I type and feel my heartbeat becoming slower. I always have wondered why does this happen? I have worked in tense situations, so why now? The answer to this could be drawn using a parallel.
We all have seen movies, where soldiers come back home from tense regions and can't adjust back to the normal surroundings. You see, after you've spend ea…

Human connections, interpretations and load balancers.

Us humans, we make connections and that's apparently what makes us human. We connect not like Bluetooth or infrared but like a cobweb. Each point is connected to many other points and all of those are connected to many others, there is no end to these connections.
But maybe our biggest problem is that we imagine too much. We, very conveniently listen to someone's rant (if we have the patience) and while the person is apparently "sharing" his feelings, we're halfway through the search of finding a similar situation in our lives to connect it with. It is worse when we actually think about those similar issues and discard the so-called friend's issues as "small problem, I've faced much more", at least in out heads at some point of time.
That's the problem, how can you possibly do that? Your friend is a different person, different goals, aspirations, actions and reactions to occurrences in life. You can't just generalize it and very conveni…

Heightened Emotions

Through whatever I know of people and myself, I believe that there is no balance. This runs much deeper than the context that I am going to use it in right now, nut that's all for some other post.
Looking at people, I've realized they're in either of the two states of emotions. They're either in their:

Heightened state, where they end up giving importance to the most trivial things. This could be due to fact that everything you touch, you get attached to. This attachment in turn leads to expectations and these, if not fulfilled lead to mayhem in your head. You can obviously choose to turn this off, but would need to realise that you will maybe lose all of your emotional side with it. You see, anger is caused by pain, pain is related to loss, loss is felt the most when the "lost" was loved; all of these are essentially connected together, tied with a string of you heightened state.

There's also a special condition here where all other emotions are just over…